Everything I Wish You Knew

Everything I Wish You Knew

Everything I Wish You Knew

LTME postWhen we started dating I really thought I finally found what I was looking for. I never fell for someone so quickly before, but I felt like it was all for a reason.

I never wanted to leave your side and knowing you felt the same way made me feel incredible. You told me I was the best thing to ever happen to you. You made me feel so loved. You told me you saw a future with me, one that I saw too.

I loved your unexpected kisses. I loved the random texts I would get letting me know how much I meant to you. I loved that we had so many common interests. I loved your family and I loved you. Everything seemed so perfect….then things changed.

You stopped putting in effort. You stopped showing me you cared. You stopped being the guy that I fell in love with, and the worst part was that you claimed it was just how you were. How can you go from being extremely affectionate and loving to not even being excited about seeing me after weeks apart? Confused was an understatement.

I started to question if it was just me. Was I expecting too much? Was I being too sensitive, too emotional? I might not ever know, but it’s something I still think about 6 months after our breakup.

We broke up mutually, deciding that we just weren’t in the same place right now. I wanted to fight for us, but you didn’t think you could give me what I deserve at that time. That was hard to accept. For so long you were perfect, and then everything fell to pieces. I was crushed.

I thought we’d find some way to be friends and put everything behind us, that was until you sent me drunk texts every weekend. Sometimes they were you and sometimes you’d claim it was your friends, and I never knew what to believe. We always ended up getting in arguments which only made everything harder. So I decided to stop responding. I couldn’t do it to myself anymore.

Until one day, you reached out to me and I decided that I wanted us to be okay. At this point I realized how much I missed you and how despite all the post breakup hardships, deep down I still loved you. I still thought, what if maybe one day things work out? I wish I knew the answer.

It still kills me that you let things go so easily. You said you never met someone as caring and kind as me and that you cared about me so much, but that wasn’t enough was it? I would’ve given you the world, and you didn’t even realize it. But guess what, I’ve learned to accept that. I’ve learned to recognize that our relationship happened for a reason. At its peak I had never been so happy and at the end I had never felt so heartbroken. I am thankful that I now know what those feelings are like. I am thankful that I now know what I value in a relationship. I am thankful that after all we went through, you told me you still would be there if I needed you.

I’ll always be here for you too. I’ll never forget you. Thank you.

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