To you

LTME-postHey you,

Not that I give a shit but this seems necessary. Just so I never have to look back. First of all, no regrets… Although you took it all, I gave you everything and more you clearly did not deserve. Just for you to take it for granted. First things first, it was you, not me. Incapable of giving anything in return. What a stupid girl I was, trying my best to be there for you, support you and look past all the bullshit. The lies, the betrayal, I hope you are happy now. All by yourself in a house we built together. Although I never called it a home.

Coldest place on earth, your soul I mean. Thanks to you, I know better now. I know that I’d never settle. Thinking back, it was the worst 15 years of my life. But at the same time the most valuable lesson in life. What I know now is something no one can take away from me. Thanks to you, I have learned to realize what I need, what I want and what I deserve. You made me strong and capable of anything, you made me ready to meet the one I want to hold on to forever. So all in all, I could not be anything but grateful.

Thanks for not being ready, for making those mistakes and for putting me through things that made it impossible for me to stay. Without you, I would have never opened my eyes, I’d still be unable to see the most beautiful things in life. I’d still be under the impression that what you did was normal. I’d be blind and unable to appreciate what means the most. It does not come as a surprise that the only thing I care about today is all the likes you removed on Instagram. Haha, whatever makes you at ease. But at the end of the day we both know that your recovery has not even begun. Will it ever, no one knows. I hope that instead of just finding another one night stand, you’d use this time to heal, to think. To process your feelings and to learn, to let go of your moodiness, all your insecurities. You’re not superior to anyone, but maybe for someone someday, you will be everything. Only after you had realized what truly matters in life. Wish you all the best.

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