Honest Words From Your Loving Liar

Honest Words From Your Loving Liar

Honest Words From Your Loving Liar

LTME-postTo my Forever Love,

It has been two weeks. Two weeks without your voice. Two weeks without your smile. Two weeks without those eyes that I love so much. As each and every day goes by, it seems to get so much harder. I am constantly fighting myself not to ask you pointless questions just so I can see your name pop up on my phone. I sit in my room every night waiting for our phone dates, longing to hear how your day went, and getting the chance to tell you just how much I love you one more time!

I know that there have been so many stories, so many lies, and half-truths. It was never my intention to hurt you, to make you suffer the way I did. In my mind the lies were my way of protecting you, preventing you from seeing me weak. I wanted to be the one that made you feel safe, the one who always made you smile, the one you could count on to take care of you, even though I couldn’t even take care of myself. I had waited so long for you to come into my life that I was afraid, if you knew just how defective I truly was, you would realize how much better off you were without me. But you didn’t run. You didn’t give up on me. I lied to you, I manipulated you, and I made you feel like you were the one at fault. I will never be able to forgive myself for the pain that I put you through. I know that it is extremely hard for you to trust me, and that the only thing I can do to regain that trust is to prove it to you. So instead of focusing on all the lies, I want to take this moment to tell you all the truths. It is true that we met because you randomly popped up on my Facebook wall. It’s true that I was slightly irritated with the fact that you couldn’t wait just a little bit longer for me to message you first! It’s true that our first date together was the best first date that I have ever been on, and that I cried right after we left each other. It’s true that you are the first person I have ever allowed to cook with me, and that I won’t be able to leave you in the kitchen by yourself again! It’s true that you introducing me to your family was one of the most meaningful experiences of my life. It’s true that my stomach would flutter every time I’d see you smile, when I’d get to look into those beautiful eyes, and the moment your lips pressed perfectly against mine. It’s true that I want all of the things we discussed about our future together and, most importantly, just how much the words “I Love You” will never be enough to express just how much I truly do.

I gave you my heart, Kyle. It is something that you were meant to have for as long as it beats. The same exact rhythm beating inside of you. As I come to the end, tears cascading down my cheeks, I can no longer tell what the future has in store; however, I think about all of the amazing memories we shared together and I recall a moment from a poem that I wrote for you: “Yes we are going to argue. Yes we’re going to worry ourselves sick over one another, and the time may come where we have trouble remembering all of the great memories we’ve made together; but one things is certain, I will never forget my one, true, forever love!”

-Zac

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