A deep letter to the boy I will always love

A deep letter to the boy I will always love

A deep letter to the boy I will always love

LTME-postDear, my ex-boyfriend I will always love.. Kainen. I’d like to start off to when I was going into 8th grade… it was summer. I posted a picture on my facebook and you messaged me… I thought it was funny bc I hated you. Well I finally talked to you 24/7, and I started to like you. My best friends dad was dating your mother so I was at your house all the time, and we got closer and closer every day and eventually became best friends. We dated for about a month and they were the happiest days of my life. Then, one day you left me.. I didn’t understsand why… what did I do? Am I too ugly? Did I not make you happy?… you confirmed it wasn’t me… you found someone else… I was fine I didn’t take it seriously.. but then weeks went by and I was missing you, then weeks turned into months and I was craving you. I didn’t know what to do or think.. I was so young to be “in love”. I couldn’t be in love at the age of 13.. well I finally thought to move on and went to date someone else.. as soon as you heard about it you texted me and left her to come back to me… me being stupid I let you back into my life.. you told me you changed, that there’s something about me that while you were with her I was all you thought about. Well you were serious.. we were together on and off since that day for 2 YEARS! Now that was when I knew every since I was 13 years old I was in love with you Kainen. Our memories together were great, swimming together, watching movies, cuddling with me, holding me for hours upon hours, staying up every single night, even school nights talking to me. We were in love. But in between those good memories we had some really bad ones too.. but what’s a relationship without fights right? You would get jealous a lot.. but you cheated on me.. with 4 different girls… I never thought that would happen.. until the one girl came along… it was not only the first time with her but the second time… Natalie.. you were crying on the phone with me begging for me.. I came over and we sat in the closet and cried and cried. I fucking loved you so much. But then Olivia came and that was when I knew I lost you. We broke up… I always thought to myself, if he truly loved me why would he leave me for other girls and cheat on me.. but I didn’t care. I just wanted you. You dated for almost a year and that’s when I knew I had lost you to her.. but I was wrong.. you came back.. for about the half of the summer and the beginning of my freshman year. But one night I found out you got back wth her while talking to me… I hit you and hit you and fell to the ground and bawled…. I never cried so much in my life.. and never in front of you.. I remember the last night we were together.. do you? Let me tell you.. we were laying down and I was on top of you looking at you holding your face and you said ” you know I will always love you Brianna right?” I said “right” I bawled on you. I tried to fight the tears but I couldn’t. From that day on you are still with Olivia. A year now has gone by… I’m over you.. but I will always love you. I don’t hate you or dislike you for what you’ve done to me, I thank you for showing me what love really is. A 13 year old little girl not believing in love found it in the guy she thought forever with. I’m happy for you though, I’m glad you found someone who makes you truly happy and you love more then anyone. We were toxic to each other, but I’m so glad I met you Kainen.. you taught me life lessons that I needed. I hated Olivia for what she did, for taking you from me. But now I realized, I never hated her… I disliked her bc she was the one who was right for you not me. She loves you so much and you love her. Never let her go Kainen. I thank you for all the great memories we shared and the lessons you taught me and for showing me that love does exist.
From, the girl who will always love you.

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