Where to begin? You were never honest with me or even yourself. You had a bf n had cheated on him for years, prolly continue to do so. He didn’t believe me when i had told him of all the times i came in you when we had sex. Dont blame him tho, when i was your “bf” i wouldnt have wanted to believe the truth either. How can one sad lil girl be so evil? When you got pregnant n told me i never woulda guessed you had no idea who the father was. Made me believe it was mine but you did the same thing to him. Its just so dirty I cant even believe it cuz everything else gets brought into question.
When i had said to you “i feel like a side dick” n you sat there reassuring me i wasnt. Did you feel like a piece of shit?
When you would say how you loved me so much whenever my dick was inside you. Did you say that to him as well?
When you aborted our son on September 22nd 2015. Did you feel responsible? Or relieved? Was it mine or your bfs? Do you even know?
When you decided to erase me from your life. Did you feel bad about all you’d lied about?
Im amazed at how awful you truly were. What was the point, to get me to love you so you could destroy everything i was? Lie your way into some dick n just walk away w no consequences? The first day you came over n wanted me to rape you, did your real bf kno where you were? What was i to you? Im afraid of what id do if i saw you now. I want blood. I want to be the one who meets you at the bottom just to push your head under for good. You brought me this low, i was a happy motherfucker before you. The love i felt was real to me but knowing what i do now, how it was all a lie n you never meant any of it. I pray for a baseball bat covered in barbed wire n your look of fear n the moment you realize theres no more running or hiding. No more lying n no more anything for you as im the last thing you see in this world i want you to remember what you did. I want you to beg n plead. I want to see you lose everything like you did to me. I want to give into the hate. I want you to cry. I want to be crazy. I want to be there as you crumble to the floor. I want fckn repercussions.
I hate myself for that. Thats not me, no matter what you think. I am better than you, always have been. I would have done anything for you. That darkness is here now tho, thanks to you. I tried killing myself again after contemplating it for the last 2 years. You didnt care. You weren’t supposed to i did it despite you not because of you. I hated myself for allowing me to be treated so poorly. Hated myself for being so weak. Hated myself for giving you the benefit of the doubt n trusting that you were a decent human being.
I know how awful and shitty people can be now thanks to you. I pray i could be there when it all catches up to you so i can look into your eyes and see the pain you feel. You deserve every second of it. Esperanza noemis Santos you are the worst human breathing. Please go choke on a dick until you suffocate.