Heartbreak Dump

Heartbreak Dump

Heartbreak Dump

I miss you. I miss the feeling you gave me. I replay everything in my head from when we first met. I replay every moment we’ve ever had that I can remember in my head over and over again.

I didn’t realize I could love someone that much until I fell in love with you. I’m terrified that I’m never gonna love someone the way I loved you. I wanna move on so the pain will stop, but I’m scared if I move on I won’t feel this way again. I don’t wanna fall out of love with you, I want to love you forever, but I’m conflicted because if I know if I stay in love with you, I won’t be able to move on and find somebody else else but what if I never find anyone else. But what if I do find somebody else, is my heart just gonna be shattered all over again, are they gonna break it too? I don’t think I could handle that.

I just want someone to look at me and know that I’m “the one.” sometimes I wonder if there’s anyone actually out there for me. I have so much love to give, and when i give it, I never get that same love back.

Break ups are weird..I meet a stranger, you become my whole world, the person I spend the most time with, the person I know like the back of my hand, and then we break up, and then you become a stranger again and I just have to instantly cut off communication and not talk to you. but your the only person that feels like home to me. it’s complete misery.

you know, there’s probably a 0000.1% chance of us getting back together and I know that. I know that we aren’t gonna get back together, but something inside me still has a glimmer of hope for us and I know it’s foolish . like my thought process is, like maybe the timing will be right for both of us in five years. I think that door will always be open to you. even though that thinking is foolish and I know in my heart, we aren’t meant for each other in the long run, i still hold out a piece of hope.

everything I see, everything I hear reminds me of you. It’s so painful I can’t escape you. You’re like a ghost that follows me everywhere I try to move on, but everything constantly reminds me that I still love you and all the memories we had.

i’m kind of scared to fall in love again, not just because of possible heartbreak which by the way is my number one thing I’m terrified of, petrified of, but the fact that I know everything is going to be compared to you. everything. I’m excited, but also scared because I don’t want to replace what we had. In a way that would feel like replacing everything that we did, the love we had, that was ours and I don’t want that taken away.

I get mad at myself for thinking that way cause I just keep yelling at myself “you just need to move on just move on forget about him,” but the other part of me just knows how deeply in love with you I still am, but then I know for a fact, I will always have love for you, so I don’t think these feelings are gonna go away. At least not any time soon.

1 Comment

  1. Matthew R 6 months ago

    I feel the same about my ex she was my everything, my sweet jade L M it was a beautiful day at Cleethorpes in England, the day I met the love of my life, the day she ran to me and swung her legs around me by the old weathered reception doors at Haven, I knew she was the one for me. Thanks for sharing your story, if you wish to read mine it is labled I miss you jade. Thanks its nice to know someone else is in the same boat.

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