I just need to write this out

I just need to write this out

I just need to write this out

Hi habibi,

I can’t believe it’s been a couple months without you in my life. I miss you every minute of every day. I miss the way you say “hi honey” or “sweet babe sweet, yeah babe yeah” … fuck I even miss “whatcha talkn’ about yoko”. I miss the little things we did for each other, the way we cuddled at night, the way I loved sneaking into your house to drop off cinnabons, or slip into bed with you. I miss our high and lows. I miss the first 4-5 months of everything we did when we first met. It would have been 1 year yesterday … yesterday was a hard day.

I miss so many things about you, about us. I wish I didn’t! I wrote you a letter and emailed it to you and you haven’t responded. It wasn’t a letter to ask you back, it was a letter to know how I saw things. My motivation was to be me.

I love you so much that I just want to call you and tell you, but I know that that will do nothing but put me in a vulnerable position … I would hate it if you said that you moved on, or that you don’t love me or miss me anymore so I’d rather hear nothing.



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