I get it now. It’s weird seeing this on here when I wish I could tell you in person. Obviously I still agree that your timing was not the best but I also understand it was something that you had kept bottled up for obviously some amount of time. You gave me my first true love, so I must at least thank you for that. I know I acted irritably and immaturely after the break up, I didn’t know how to deal with it.
Now that I look back on it, it was probably for the best. I hope to god I wasn’t a distraction while you took a break from your ex as I sure didn’t feel like that. It makes sense why we would fall in love, we were so happy go lucky and then later on when shit got real for both of us, we cracked. We tried desperately but you can’t fix a broken teapot. I can honestly say now though that I really do wish you the best. I mean, everyone tells me to stop all connections whether it be social and text and I have.
I wanted to let you know I got that job that you had a funny feeling about! It’s sad that we had to end it on this note. It was my fault, I take full responsibility for that because of the way I reacted. I swear though, I only contacted her to let her know not to upset you in turn. It’s sad that I probably concreted your reasoning for breaking up with me in the first place. I’m not a bad guy, I just had a lot to learn And I can admit that I did grow from this experience and that I am proud of. I made mistakes and realized that’s not the ideal way to deal with something.
I wish I could send this to you but it would break the rule that I made myself that I wouldn’t contact you nor be a part of your life anymore. I wish we could’ve still been friends now that I look back on it. I see your reasonings now though, we are both different trains on different courses, I wish we had known it sooner. L.A I thought was a fit for me and it wasn’t. I realized that later on and held off on telling you because we both proclaimed how we hated NY. Until I went there and slowly started to fall in love with it. You understood that my career was first forward and so did I. Sometimes I wish I could be normal and have a normal job and have a relationship first basis but then I realize that only works in the rom-comes and we both know that Hugh Grant goes home and counts his bills of that stuff. I’m sorry that I acted the way I did and I’m sorry that it was so hard for me to let go.
I really wish you well in all your endeavors.