I just wanted to say thank you for “discarding” me when you did, which you did because you realized I was starting to see you for who you really are – and I’m glad I didn’t waste any more time on you. Don’t worry, this won’t take too much of your precious POF time. As even my son DANIEL (who is so much more mature than you) said, “anyone can be nice in the beginning , trying to impress (which you yourself talked about), and be superficially nice”. Ultimately, I saw you for who you really are – a 55 year old man who is incapable of really pleasing a woman (you probably don’t even know that really means)… Just look at your relationship history of the past 10 years.. A man who casually twists the truth to suit his own selfish agenda.. who has few true friends, if any, and the only way you have succeeded to have any social life is be being a volunteer firefighter (which is an oxyMoron because you will receive a retirement pension, lol). And I know how image in other people’s eyes is so important to you, because of your insecurities- after all, you said yourself how one “needs to impress” when dating. You choose to settle for shallow, empty compliments from people who don’t even know you, and never will, because of your fear and insecurities. You obviously can replace people at the drop of a hat, and you just want to “enjoy life with someone”, with no drama”, which is a ‘friend with benefits’, not a real relationship.. You just want a warm female body, and one who gives you compliments that feed your fragile, selfish ego. You have the emotional maturity of a child –if you don’t get your way, if someone dares to point out any imperfection in your or calls you out on something, other than agreeing with or giving you a compliment, you get angry and vindictive, which is pathetic because you are not a child, you are 55. No wonder you hook up with much younger women, they are usually more inexperienced (hence clueless), and more easily manipulated, they can’t see your true self hiding behind that shallow façade of yours. You are also superficial, as I can remember different things you said.. though you were careful, you didn’t want to give that away too easily, you wanted to appear the ‘nice guy’, the gentleman’.. Unfortunately for me, it took a few months for me to see your façade, unlike that woman you went on a date with once, and who didn’t return your text the next day, because she was able to see your true colors right away.. Kudos to her..
And then someone comes along and tries to be your friend, and care for you, but you repay her with looks of contempt if she dares to get distracted while you are talking (oh I remember a lot now), and when she is talking about some men who insensitively talk to their wives about other ‘hot’ women, and you say “well maybe he didn’t like the way his wife looked”.. (my family & friends loved hearing that one).. and telling me to “relax’ and “stop thinking so much”, (that I dare to have a mind of my own) .. and you get defensive when I was just saying what I initially got bothered about…. what a joke that was , mostly you would just try to change the subject.. I could go on.. ..Thank God I didn’t drop it .. because I refused to put up with that crap any more.. The short of it was – if we weren’t having fun, you just didn’t give a shit at all.. I must say you are a fairly good actor though, , at feigning empathy, support & affection, and an adept Player. This letter is the only way you could listen to me, because you have no clue as to how to really listen, unless it’s something “enjoyable” to hear, because that is obviously all you care about. You have a lot of fear, you are too afraid to leave your comfort zone and care enough to listen.. it takes courage & maturity to open up and share thoughts and emotions , and to listen to others’ as well, which you obviously can’t and won’t do… I went through 16 years of an abusive relationship.. among other problems .. then another shitty relationship, and still, I was willing to open up !.. wow, you really were an asshole to me..
Of course you cowardly dumped me first, ( you were afraid I was going to dump you just because I wanted to talk about stuff (which is what any healthy relationship should consist of so that issues don’t become a problem), yeah you dumped me like a sack of old potatoes.. because you have an intense fear of rejection.. but it was ok to have me come all the way over there so you could attempt to degrade and humiliate me in front of your son – a cold, callous , cowardly & immature move , and one of extremely poor parenting, using your own son (AARON) as a pawn…. Then outside , you hugged me goodbye coldly, with that smug, arrogant smirk on your face, obviously trying to make me feel rejected and sad, which would feed your fragile ego..
You are a manipulative man, who can’t wait for retirement because you are so dissatisfied with your life now, & and when you are old and grey, you can float about in your new boat and camper with your new ‘friend with benefits’, but that will not change anything, because you will still be you – a narcissistic, shallow loner.
Oh, btw, you wanted to know “if my daughter said anything about you”?.. Yes, TARA thinks you were “a waste of my time, and a loser, and that how you treated me was not justified, that I should forget about you because you basically suck”. DANIEL says , after hearing about all the good, the bad and the ugly (so as to get an objective , informed answer from everyone), that you seem “lifeless, sexist, and are dumb and unjustified for what you did”. The Therapist that I saw, he said you are “immature” and “lacking in understanding on many things”, and little MARGARET and my friends , say you are a “loser and an “asshole, he’s not worth your time or thoughts”..
I wrote this letter because I felt I should call someone out when they are treating others like pieces of shit.. of course I couldn’t care less what you think of me, because you are so covertly narcisstic and arrogant and selfish, that what you say is then meaningless, I take it as a compliment.. I am usually an independent , strong person, but if someone treats me or someone else wrongly, I eventually tell them they are essentially being an asshole, hence this letter..
My biggest mistake & regret regarding you was saying hello to you in the first place..
I would wish you luck with your next victim, but for their sake, I won’t ..
I do forgive you, not because you deserve it , but for my sake, and because it is what we are supposed to do when someone does us and others wrong.. , and because people who treat others like this need forgiveness & prayers the most.. you are on my prayer list still, because hell.. you certainly need a Lot of prayers..
By the way people on this site.. I actually SENT this letter to him 🙂
Well done for sending it to him! Great letter!
I wish you the best!
was there a response from him if so what was it?
Good on you!