Complete disappointment

Complete disappointment

Complete disappointment

LTME-postA complete disappointment is an understatement. We were only ‘together’ for about 6 months but after years of flirting and tension those 6 months felt like a long time, enough for me to believe we would be together forever. We’d known each other for around 7 years before we got close but back then I was younger and you were with your girlfriend. I had just come out of an awful relationship when we started. At first you were someone to speak to then it moved on to being almost inseparable. It’s funny looking back cos you were still with your girlfriend despite telling me it was over. How foolish could I have been to believe you when you said it was over between you both? I remember the weekend you confirmed you’d be telling her about us so we could be open about the relationship. I was ecstatic. How could you have been with me for 6 months pretending things were already over between you both when in reality I was your bit on the side? How could you have lived 2 separate lives without me realising. I know I can say stupid things but I’m not a thick girl, I’m relatively switched on but was blinded by our connection. Well that weekend very quickly crashed around me when you confessed you were still with her and couldn’t continue us. It felt like you tore my heart out and stamped on it 100 times. I remember driving back to speak to you to hear you say it for me to actually believe this was happening. Deep down I knew you were being serious but I was praying that it was all a joke and that you had been honest with me when you told me it was over between you. Wrong. You really were a deceitful, lying piece of s***. I remember feeling deaf after you told me in person, feeling everything slowing down around me and my legs giving up underneath me. I sat on the floor crying my eyes out with my girlfriend’s mortified at what they were witnessing. Mortified that their strong friend who always hid her emotions, was on the floor breaking down at perfection quickly turning into a nightmare. The months went by and you took advantage of my vulnerability. You knew you had me right where you wanted. I quickly came to my senses and broke it off. That was almost 4 years ago and somehow you still haunt me. I genuinely believe we were soul mates. The connection we had was undeniable, everyone could see it.. We couldn’t keep our hands off each other. You told me you loved me and we had discussed children and holidays alongside you having your separate life with your long term girlfriend. Don’t you see how sick that was to do that? I really did believe and trust you completely. The sad part is you now are engaged and have children with her. When I saw the picture of you with your son I cried. It all came flooding back to me and selfishly I was devastated because that should have been me. I wouldn’t ever make my feelings known as your girlfriend went through enough (unbeknown to me at the time) but I needed to get this off my chest. A letter to you, you massive disappointment, to let you know that although I will only ever be the other woman, your fun friend and your f*** buddy, those months we spent together were everything to me. I will always love you no matter how many years go by, I will always believe we were meant to be together. Maybe we weren’t meant for each other in this life and maybe I was foolish and stupid for not realising you were still with her, but I know I’m not that stupid to have made up the connection we shared. It was a once in a lifetime love and connection which I know for sure you still think of based on what you still say to me, but you just weren’t man enough to push the boundaries and escape your mundane life and for that I pity you. I pity you that you didn’t take the chance to see for yourself what we could have been and what we could have achieved together. You’ll never be satisfied and you know it, you’ve said it yourself. So this is a goodbye to you and a wish of luck for your future. I may be suffering still after 4 years but I will find happiness and come to the realisation that I was better off without you. You however will have the realisation that you’re stuck in the same boring life you have been for 10 years and that is something you will regret.

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