Time

LTME-postHey R, looking back over the course of 3 years from when we met to the time we broke up I have realised that time goes so fast. Time is uncontrollable and that sucks because I’d really like to go back and change a couple things. When I first met you I had no idea how important you were going to become, I was lost and needed a friend and you were there too, also needing someone to talk to. I only realised you were just as cut up inside as I was when we started talking on the phone until 4am+ and I believe that’s when my emotions began to unfold. We were in the same band aha and I used to stare at you pretty much all the time. You became like a work of art to me and I couldn’t believe that a guy with your beauty could ever have the time of day to talk to me. I also couldn’t believe that it took becoming close to you to realise just how stunning and amazing you truly are. We would talk about everything and nothing sexual ever really came into it in the beginning, we were just like really close friends. I still remember when you told me how old you were and at first I panicked, you were older and that meant you could do things that I could not and this scared me. I’m not going to lie but because of this there were trust issues from the get go. I still remember how you asked me out, you said “so… will you be my girl?” And that might you also wrote me a giant paragraph about how I was your queen and your “forever and always”. Over the course of our relationship you were incredible and you made me the happiest person in the world you literally made me feel so importantly and I hope I did the same for you. When we broke up over a reason I will not discuss, you changed. I didn’t feel so wanted by you anymore and felt like I was bugging you. I was still so madly in love and it seemed as though you’d just cut me out of any part of your life and ignored my messages, you would say some mean things but I said some stuff back too. This lasted for a whole year until Valentine’s of this year, so just a few days ago, when you messaged me on Snapchat. I was so excited and even though I believed I was getting over you, those butterflies and the fire in my soul was reignited and all of a sudden I was a helpless teen in love again. We are now currently talking here and there and we talk with kisses like we used too although not quite so many aha. So here I am, basically back in 2016, crushing on you, madly in love, pouring my heart out and dreaming that we will find our old love and give it another go. I will always love you R. You’re my first love and you will always hold a special place in my mind and heart. I hope to be your “forever and always” again. Also, I hope you’re okay and may time be on my side.

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