Dear A,

We broke up and stayed friends, and we could have stayed friends for a long time, If I hadn’t screwed up. The pain of knowing that you didn’t love me anymore consumed me. I let my emotions do the talking and fucked up big time. I said things I didn’t mean. You know I love you. You are one of the best things that has ever happened to me. Not just you being my boyfriend, but also being my friend.

You were my best friend. You were always there, like no one else was. I really should have appreciated you more. You cared for me so much. I only realized that after you cut me off. And now, I’ve called you, sent you 5 emails, I’ve come by your house and I’ve even sent you a hand-written letter, apologizing. Telling you I miss you, and that you meant the world to me. That I’m hurting so much without you. But you never replied, you didn’t show up at the bridge outside my house at 5pm as I asked for in my letter.

I just want my best friend back. Even if it means we can’t be together. I want the best friend I ever had back. I did so much for you. Who would have known a couple words could cause this? I should never have let my emotions speak. I said the wrongs things. I don’t regret anything more than that. But you don’t want to come back. Why? Why can you live so easily without me but I can barely go one day without crying for hours? It hurts so much to miss you. 

Love, Lovis