I still have so many questions

I still have so many questions

I still have so many questions

Heya. It’s been forever but, it’s the oddest thing that I am so happy for you. You got married, and you and your wife are so beautiful and awesome together. I don’t feel intense jealousy the way I do about Other Dude (yes, that guy that came into my life just as you left, who gave me relief from the pain of losing you for a transient moment before taking me an emotional mess of non-exclusive relationship-ness for four years).

ANYWAY. I just wonder sometimes if life would have ever turned out differently if I just.. held on a bit better and articulated how I really felt about you? After we parted ways. I just let it happen and let a heartbreak fog descend upon me (dramatic, but admittedly honest.) Would we have tried to be a long distance thing? Would you have come to my uni? Was what we had actually something deeply emotionally meaningful (I’ve never felt like this for anyone before, this is IT kind of love) or just something passing, fleeting for you until you found what you were destined to have? Not that there’s any point in still wondering, but I still look back at the old summer photo album sometimes and think back on our memories and think, gah. I still haven’t known something as amazing as that.


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