Love is a losing game…i was a hopeless romantic, always fantasizing about being in love and sharing my world with someone forever. Until i actually fell in the deepest love, deeper than the depths of the universe. Now i never want to love anyone again.
I was sure it was going to be you, we had our entire lives planned, we weren’t perfect but we had each other..so i thought. Its been 7 months since you broke my heart. Our anniversary is in 3 days :’)
We didn’t make it this time around. I dreaded this day yet here we are.. here i am. Alone.
Why were you so selfish to me? You took and took but never gave. Id give you my heart if yours ever stopped pumping. I just don’t understand and never will. We were happy, times got hard and i never thought out of everybody it would be you to give up..you just simply let go…you knew it and i never seen it coming. You took my love, my kindness, my warmth, my body, my soul all for granted. I watered you, i helped you grow and you..weren’t watering me, I didn’t understand in the moment why i was always so tired, full of anxiety and had low self esteem which was something i never had before.
I understand now Its because you deprived me from everything i needed to grow..you left me out to die and my leaves were turning brown right before my eyes. I fought for someone who chose everyone and everything over me. now i choose me. I love me now more than ever! now i water myself. I forgive you for you had no clue what to do with such a special gift from God. You still don’t and unfortunately will never get another chance to try in this lifetime at least. I pray you’re happy. I wish you no bad. As i heal, i have a much greater understanding of self and know now that i will never pour all of that hopeless love in to anyone but me and that will never be a game i lose.
Ps, Was the grass greener on the other side?