Game On

6 whole months went by where neither of us spoke a word to one another.
I was at peace for those 6 months. I was at peace for hating you for what you had done to me.
You told everyone that I had done horrible things to you, when in reality you were simply throwing the blame into my lap. You made everyone hate me over things we both knew weren’t true.
You hated my friends and never let me forget about it. The second I tried moving on you tried to sneak back in just to place me back at square one when I couldn’t even walk to class without dirty looks. You would purposefully come up to everyone around me at the bar and say hello just to watch me tear up. You gained so much pleasure from seeing me hurt. In a way, you ruined me and my life as a whole. 

I did everything for you. I waited 4 months for you to make up your mind about me when you wanted me in the first place. I would do your laundry and clean your room just to make the world easier for you. I wrote you notes of encouragement that you still have to this day. I hope they remind you of how horrible you were to me. You would black out nightly and scream at me for things like my outfit or how I was too quiet that night, and I still stayed which is embarrassing on my part. When we were finally over I felt a huge sigh of relief. I felt like I was finally free from feeling useless. Those next 6 months were a breath of fresh air. I could finally be me without you. But then you were back.

First it was turning your location on for me, which you never even did while we were together.
Then it was the asking my friends how I’m doing.
And finally it was the typing.
I snapped.
I know it’s my fault for sending that message, but I was furious.
We met up.
I let you know how angry I was at you and all you did was try and pull me into bed.
You reminisced on a time when we were “happy,” which I couldn’t remember a single instance. Then you told me you loved me. And thats where everything fell apart. I fell into it. I let you woo me with promises of a stable friendship where nothing would be awkward and we could spend time one on one. That was never going to happen. I know we are in contact now, but I will never forgive you for what you did to me. I am so sick and tired of the he said she said. But the blissful thing about it now is that I’m not stupid anymore. I’ve learned to play the game even better than you. So if you want to tell me you love me and then pretend we’ve never met. Game on.


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