Being young and in love is tough. We were so mad for each other. We both left relationships we didn’t want to be in anymore. The snapchats, me going to your third floor apartment every other day, wanting to see your beautiful face. I remember how much we wanted each other and the day I went to kiss you as I left, and you didn’t kiss back. I thought I messed up, then you text me about me leaving my wallet, so I get it.

You kissed me back, you wanted me, and I never felt that before. I felt safe. I felt happy.

Fast forward from the fun times, almost two months worth, and now we got a baby on the way, our own child. We’re both nervous but confident, and my favorite moments were our baby screenings, little dates to skip work with you, and spent sleeping with you knowing I had everything I wanted in 1 person. My first born and final love of my life being you.

You’re everything I wanted.

Parenting is tough. We’re parents. This is forever, and we’re fading apart. Covid is happening and taking a toll. We’re nervous for our kid. We aren’t having fun like we used to, but we’re making it work. We fight more, I don’t like fighting. I’m liking other girls picture, I’m wrong for that. I still wanted you and loved you. I still love you. I never wanted another person as much as I wanted you. We took a break in November. You still loved me, I never showed how I truly felt. I was upset that we came to this. I still wanted you home, and you came back. 

We’re gonna be okay.

St. Louis was amazing, then we have another kid, I wasn’t as excited. That was selfish. You were happy for another one, I was feeling guilty. Our son barely 1 and we do this, and we just got back on good terms. You worry I won’t love this baby like I did the first. I’m still there, the whole pregnancy, delivery room, and I’m there when you needed me most. I was also there when you cried, sleepless nights, stressful days, and a newborn nothing like our first. I was there, good, bad and the worst times.

I never left you.

You’re angry at me. You’re so physical and upset that you want me to leave. You don’t love me, but I never changed. I move to make you happier, and you’d come over, and we’d do the same stuff we did when we first loved. Then months later, i’m not who you want, and one trip to texas you take later and now you’re with your ex. You moved backwards, I still loved you. I can’t move forward without you, and the children together. I tell you I’ll wait for you, that you’ll see you wanted me, and you love me, but how do I recover from not being the person you wanted? He sold you that he was everything you wanted the first time, and you believed him. I’ll never recover from that. I’ll never be the perfect image on who you wanted, and that never goes away. Even through all of this, i want you back. I want to have fun again, and experience those first few months forever, and I’m hoping you come back, grab my face, and kiss me like I know you want me forever, like we did the first time.

I still love you, and you love someone else.


Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.