Ethan.

LTME-postEthan,
I know that you are probably better off with out me and i accept that. Things have gotten harder for me in the last 2 months. I know you don’t care anymore cause i am some crazy bitch that won’t get over you. So i am sorry i guess. Anyways I just wanted to tell you my point of view. We are gonna go back to the day I first met you. Yes, that day. I was just that little girl that hung out with a group of high schoolers just doing her own thing. I was annoying (still am). But deep under that i was a girl with dreams and hopes and love. All i really thought about when i saw you was oh new friend I like him. ( sorry I am typing this at 4 am), beside the point i never had a problem with you around that time. That night when you and Zach? came to Selenas’ house i was just showing off cause i wanted you to kiss me like you did Selena but i felt guilty cause you were a thing with my bestfriend. So i just stayed away. That night passed and i never thought of you again until you texted me out of the blue saying i was cute and all. So i just thought you were some guy just looking for a one night thing and then the next morning there was nothing. I was wrong. We would text on and off every once in a while. Sometimes we would send memes like every typical teen. I thought nothing of it. Then i saw a picture of you on Masons snap and slid up and commented “daddy”. How typical right. So you did what any other guy would do and texted me on snap and said “hey”. We continued to talk. Things escelated and things got hella freaky. Thats when i started noticing a change in myself. You not only made me a freak but you made me love you. I started noticing the way my heart beated when i saw “My King” come up on my screen. But also my heart stared to break because i started realizing that we could never be anything. You had hoes and i just wanted a love. So i just kept going. Everyday i kept falling and falling in love with you and i knew it was wrong but at the same time it was you so i just stayed. Days past and even weeks and we were a thing at least i thought we were. One day as i went through my friend Tinas’ instagram i noticed “Ethan” in her bio. In that very moment i stood there lifeless and broken and hopeless. So you could about imagine i texted you and bitched at you because of course i had just found out that the one person i loved made me his side hoe. You kept saying “baby i am sorry i love you it won’t happen again”. I was hurt and skeptical cause i had just gotten lied to and betrayed. So i listened to you but i felt so dumb going back to you and so i played you back. I made you think that I was gonna stay with you only if you broke it off with her. Then clever me told you i didn’t want to be with you right after you broke it off with her. I didn’t regret it because i was hurt and it was payback. So you got petty and called me a hoe and said “at least i got nudes out of it” bitch move dude bitch move. 1 month passed and my birthday came up. You texted me and said “happy birthday hoe”. hm thanks i guess? Then we texted again and started being friends again. I don’t really remember much but i remember getting into an accident and i remember just wanting to text you and i wanted to tell you what i had gone through. I remember every night at 12 i would grab my pillow and cry into it cause i would cry to loud. I remember when i got raped and i just wanted to talk to you cause you always made me smile and you brought me comfort. But i didn’t. All i told you was that i still loved you and i missed you so fucking much. And i did though. I just wanted you to be holding me even though you lied to me. So then we got back together again. You were the highlight of my dark life. And i know what your thinking. How does she remember all this shit? i don’t know okay don’t judge. Things seemed to be going good. You seemed to care about me. Then Austin came into the picture. He started telling me that you were talking to other girls and models and shit. So i asked you. I told you to drop them or i would leave. You did, or so i thought. Austin started telling me he liked me and shit and you already know i was all caught up in you so i wouldn’t get with him but you texted me and said that you were better than him and that you loved me or something like that. You really proved to me that you actually somewhat wanted me. Now i don’t know how you felt but this is how i saw it. Now what ever happened i don’t know what happened but we broke it off. Then we got back together again and things were going good. I actually thought we were gonna make it. Man was i wrong. I was happy. You seemed happy so it was all good you know. Then i saw a picture of you and your doggo and commented “cuties”. Then the next morning I wasn’t really surprised when a good looking girl commented ” why you commenting on my boyfriends posts?” HAHAHA NIGGA BUSTED. So i texted you and the girl Angelica? and it turns out she had been through the same thing i went through with you. We both dumped the shit outta your ass. Now you are probably thinking: why did you write me this long ass note? Well Ethan i did it to show you how much you lost. I may not be the best looking to people but obviously i care and love you so much that i won’t stop thinking sbout you and all i want is to stop thinking about you. So this is closure to me and i hope you read this all cause it would show me that you at least have enough respect for me. I don’t mean to make you feel like shit but i felt like writing this to you. Thank you so much for everything. Even though we ended badly i still respect you and i don’t have any grudges towards you this is just my way of getting over someone i love. Thank you and have a great life.
Sage M.

1 Comment

  1. sandy (mom) 3 years ago

    This is Ethan’s mother and I did not know that side of Ethan. I am sorry. I thought Ethan was more of a humble and kind and just loving person. If he hurt you, I am so sorry. Boys tend to do that. He never had a girlfriend unless it was Erika. He lived about 2 years with her. After that, I think his look at women was different. In one respect I am glad that you liked my son. He has been gone for 2 years now and we always will miss him and love him. So terribly hard. Everyday we think about him or wish he was standing right next to us. we miss his hugs. He was a good hugger like his mom./ Hope you are better now and have found peace and love Sandy

Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.