Heya LS,

I will never be the same again without you despite all you had done to me. I loved you with all of my heart and then you had to break it as if it didn’t matter to you at all. As if I meant nothing to you. Maybe putting all of that blame on you is unfair here but I wish you could have understood me than to say things without realizing what scars they had left on me.

I thought you were different but at the end you proved to me that you were just as much driven by societal norms. You might be fine now and may have no trouble sleeping but I can’t catch a break. Waking up in the middle of the nights with cold sweats thinking/wishing this was a bad nightmare but them I come to terms with reality and start thinking things.

You know, the way I see it, none of us were at fault but all I wanted was a little patience. I let my guard down and you broke through and I’m left with broken pieces of myself to pick up. Everyday is a struggle. Maybe it is for you too, who knows. Or maybe I’m just being highly delusional. It shouldn’t have ended the way it did and I wish nobody has to go through the same. I want you to be happy too and if these indeed are your real feelings and emotions, then I can’t do much about them.

I will have to let you go. I genuinely hope that you’re really happy. I wish we had that proper closure where you actually had tried to understand me rather than hang me out to dry and pretend like we’re strangers. I would have accepted your call with grace and dignity had you tried to understand me rather act like you want no part in this. For now, I’ll try doing all I can to fix what’s left of me, not sure if I’ll be able to but I hear time heals everything. But I kinda like this feeling too. How can I move on when I’m still in love with you? I should stop now. I forgot, men aren’t supposed to show their emotions! 

– Tisch


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