We’re even now!

We’re even now!

We’re even now!

Okay Nimco.  

You made your decision. I am content with it.  I accept it humbly and wholeheartedly.  Nonetheless, I have to tell you this.  

For far too long and without knowing I’ve carried the guilt of rejecting you. 

Today I feel that pain. Today I feel what rejection truly feels like and it’s painful. It hurts, its wound deep and painful. 

Today I realize what it’s like to beg and beg and shed tears for someone only to be rejected. 

I sincerely apologize to you for putting you through such an enormous pain. A pain that I’ve come to realize myself today. 

But your decision is not in vein nor is it ominous.  

I said no to you at one point and I paid a price mentally and physically because that decision came to haunt me. 

As of today, I’ve made peace with my guilt. I GENUINLY asked you to get back with me and you denied me that honor just as I did to you in the past.  

To find inner peace, one must reconcile his past with his present. And so today, I’ve reconciled all that I’ve done to you. 

I tried to do right my wrong and do right by you. I offered you the chance of a re-union and you turned it down. I tried to recompense for all the hurt I’ve caused you and you turned it down. 

Had you said yes, I would’ve given you everything that I could. 
We not only share a daughter but also a lot of familiarity and comfort. 

I would’ve sacrificed my needs and wants for you. I’d even planned on buying a house for you and the kids.  

I probably would’ve given you my spine had you needed it. That’s how much I loved you.  

I would’ve given you more than love and that’s loyalty; the action of love. With loyalty you can love and hate someone and still have that person’s back. 

Man only sees the outward but the Lord sees the heart; therefore I do not remotely understand how you chose him over me but again man only sees the outward.   

I want you to know in case you’ve forgotten that I was not a stranger trying to come in and upend your life. After-all we once shared a life. 

With that said, at this juncture of our lives and the fact that we are both even, I can now cease to feel the pain I’ve caused you because you got your revenge on me. 

At one point you were the vulnerable and today it is I who is the vulnerable.

I no longer hold the high ground over you. We are on even ground. 

I wish you all the BEST. I hold no ill will towards you. May God be with you and May God grant you all of your desires Nimco. 

You are the mother of my daughter and that will always remain.  

As for me I will now move on just as time will, I will flow away just like the river.   

I will no longer self loathe, wondering why the world hasn’t dealt me the hand that I wanted.  
There will not be another triggering moment of love for you, no more thoughts of what ifs, could I have and no more back and forth. 

I will remove any and all anchors of desire I have for you. This concludes our story. 

I will focus on self-love, self-building, self-nurturing and self-betterment.  

You are no longer an unrequited love. I will move beyond that feeling quickly and swiftly. 

I will focus on finding my future wife. And I will be the Best husband I can be to her. 

My heart is pure and it’s full of love and I can’t wait to share it with that somebody.  

I pray God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. 

Goodbye Nimco.


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