Today is the day, the day where I would be drying my tears and would be out of breath from crying secretly. Though I know from day 1 that this day will come but subconsciously I was hoping it won’t. I would be hypocritical if I say I am ok and be happy, yes I always wished for your happiness and you know how much I supported you for 3 years. I supported your decisions of leaving me because I respect your decision and I understand your reason. But it hurts so much now, it hurts…..
I told you before that I will send you a letter on the day of your wedding. I wasn’t still ready for this day, yes I am strong as you said it many times. I don’t want to say this but it hurts I wanted to be happy for you but it hurts so much. My subconscious mind cannot still sinked it in. I was wishing that God would create a button to delete a certain feelings and memories just like deleting numbers and photos in the mobile. If only it were so simple. For the past days since the day you admitted it though you don’t want me to know because you don’t want to see me hurt but how to not get hurt. even now is more difficult– I hope that I can lose the feelings, emotions on how I felt about you, or at least lose the idea of what I thought I was to you. I hope I will be.
I just hope she will be a good wife and she would take care of you more than the way I care for you.